Blog
Feb 09

The plight of the home barista

It’s early morning. You’ve stumbled out of bed and made your way to the coffee machine to switch it on. It makes a noise, grumbles, and starts heating up. You do too, but you make more of a groan than a grumble. And what also starts to heat up is the anticipation of having your daily morning coffee. Your morning juice, your liquid gold. It’s what gets you going and kicks you into action.

There’s always a build-up of anticipation and hope around the morning coffee. Hope that today the coffee will taste as good as it did yesterday! Even just close to how yesterday tasted would be a win… Please, please I need this to taste good today! I can’t face throwing a coffee down the sink cos it tastes nothing like what a café coffee should and looks more similar to dirty dishwater!

Yesterday’s coffee was delicious so I’m going to follow the process I did yesterday perfectly, it can’t go wrong, it simply can’t. Concentrate now…

But the coffee gods have other ideas… Even though concentration levels were high, frustratingly your extraction goes wrong. The pour is all restricted, you’ve overdosed (without even knowing it) and have tamped the coffee bed down so hard that no amount of water pressure is going to allow water to flow evenly through your coffee bed. And the extraction still continues… it shouldn’t take this long… should it?!

It finally finishes. Yawn.  You begin spinning your milk. You recently watched a YouTube video on some tips for getting the right amount of milk texture. It helps, and you’re half-happy with the consistency. What’s the saying about mediocrity again…?

With your half-happy foamed milk you jam it into the espresso in your mug and at the same time think back to the false hope you’d given yourself for your coffee. Confidence at this stage of a great-tasting coffee is a 6 out of 10. Your lips hit the cup, you take a sip and there it is… or more like there it isn’t… the sweetness and creaminess of yesterday’s memory is replaced by today’s bitterness.

Just as you go to brave another sip your vision starts to fade and blur, and you start hearing a loud and irritating beeping sound. You’re back lying in bed being woken by your alarm…

Was I just dreaming? Did that just happen? What a bloody nightmare!

Ah well, time to get up and turn on the coffee machine.

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